Hello folks,
Disclaimer: I swear by Arindham Chaudhary’s literary skills
that I won’t talk about my job, given the fact that I crib about it almost
every day on facebook.
Okay I know I am 22 days late but as they say better late
than never and since this is my first post in the new year so Happy New Year
people.
One thing that amazes me about New Years is the way people
make a lot of hue and cry about the New Year resolutions and then with most of
them (Me included) it fades away in no time. You can attribute various reasons
to it but I ‘m sure you would have never heard of what follows:
Of how my new year resolution parted ways with me even
before the sun of 1st of January could rise.
First let me tell you what it was all about. Okay we all saw
Anna Hazare’s antics the previous year and though I do not totally abide by
what he preaches but somewhere within me it did raise questions of contributing
my bit to remove corruption from the day to day incidents that I face and so,
wearing the metaphorical “Anna Topi”, I
vowed never to bribe anyone for whatsoever reasons.
Act 1 Scene 1, 31st December Night, Chandigarh
After yet another hectic day out in the field in Jalandhar
(no not the paddy fields ofcourse), I set out to go to Chandigarh to meet other
friends and to be in some company while embracing the new year. It was while I
was on my way to Chandigarh, sitting in the erratic Punjab Transport bus going
through the bumpier-than-Vidya-Balan’s-body road, that the Anna in me spawned
and hence I too had a NYR (Read: New Year Resolution).
After reaching Chandigarh and after meeting my long lost friends we had an uninterrupted bashing session which
comprised of bash-your-boss and bash-your-job and praise-the-other-guy’s-job-grass-on-the-other-side-greener
session for close to an hour and then started the usual booze session. With my
pace that night I knew I was up for something really big. I disclosed my NYR
with others and they mocked at me and my NYR as if I had told them that my
favourite actor in the whole world was Tusshar Kapoor. While others had just
got a hang of the booze, I was already on another world by then but still
consistent at my pace just like Vinay Kumar’s bowling. At that time I mentioned
my NYR again, still not sure if I could actually convey what I wanted to, given
the state I was in. At that moment, we
decided to go for a drive in a friend’s car inspite of being alerted by a phattu-friend that it is Chandigarh and
full of Police checkposts at night (yes, we guys have this stupid ego of
teasing the ghost).
Act 1 Scene 2, Driving through Chandigarh.
We could see a check-post at a distance from inside the car
and at that very instance, the song Sadi
Gali started playing. I had carried
my bottle inside the car and by then was as normal as Rakhi Sawant is in her
interviews. Seeing this, one bastard of a friend threw a gauntlet at me
challenging me to get down of the car
when we get close to the check post, show some newly learnt Punjabi dance moves
and tease the policemen and come back.
Men will be men.
I was no less a man. Seriously. Question of my ego. I
grabbed the challenge with both hands as any batsman in the world does when
Sreesanth comes to bowl. The car neared the post. I got down. Went a step
ahead. Showed my Bhangra Moves and just when the policeman threw his danda @
me, ran back to the car which had already taken a u-turn by then and got into
it thereby showing a middle finger to the policeman(still don’t know why) and
we got back, me feeling proud of my achievement and others hilariously
laughing.
As we were going from a god-only-knows road, we saw another
check-post at a distance.
Instantly and unanimously it was understood that we had to
do the same act here too.
Now I hate Marconi, yes the Italian son of a bitch who
invented wireless.
We were unaware of the fact the the drama at the previous
checkpost had led to the policemen transmitting the message at every other
posts alerting them of the colour,make and number of our car.
But by that time, I was as lost from my senses as Mayawati
is in the parliament. I took it as an unsaid responsibility on me to repeat my
act and just as we could get close to the post, we played Sadi Gali again (Somehow this song just pumps up my dance hormones
or should I say used to pump up). I got down. Went ahead, this time a bit
more ahead without realizing and started my antics. Before I could understand,
there were policemen running from all directions towards me. I ran towards the
car which was running ahead of me (buggers realized that it was a trap and were
leaving me and running away).
All of us got caught.
After a slur of MC and BC used as salutation
purposes to refer to us, we (being the sales guys we are, oh sorry somewhere I
had to mention my profession), taken to the police chowki and on the verge of
getting behind the bars, somehow managed to convince the cops by bribing the
eight of them a sum of 20 grands.
Half of which had to be shelled out by me, partly because no
one else had that much then and partly because I was playing the protagonist.
We returned back home and no one spoke a word again about
mine or any goddamn NYR.
I feel sorry for my younger brother who will have to wait
for yet another month to get his new handset.
Last but not the least, I am sorry to you, Anna Hazare for
letting you down.
P.S: The above
narrated incident is a figment of my imagination and any resemblance to anyone
living or dead is purely co-incidental. I also want to use this very occasion
to claim that I have been abstaining myself from alcohol and that actually is
my NYR.
